(From Enterprise, episode “Acquisition”; sloppy script-writing, as rule 6 (see above) was already given in DS9); Keep your ears open. Small print leads to large. Ferengi Rules of Acquisition [Complete List*]. GitHub Gist: instantly share code, notes, and snippets. From the Publisher. The Ferengi are greedy, avaricious, ruthless, cowardly and completely unscrupulous. For centuries the famous Ferengi Rules of Acquisition .
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Once you have their money Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. From Enterprise, episode “Acquisition”; sloppy script-writing, as rule 6 see above was already given in DS9 Keep your ears open.
Small print leads to large risk. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. A deal is a deal A contract is a contract is a contract but only between Ferengi.
A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. Never place friendship above profit.
A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rules of Acquisition
Nothing is more important than your health–except for your money. There’s nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother It never hurts to suck up to the boss. War is good for business. Peace is good for business. She can touch your lobes but never your urles. Profit is its own reward. Never confuse wisdom with luck. Don’t trust a man wearing rulew better rulles than your own.
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. Females and finance don’t mix. Never ask when you can take. Good customers are as rare as latinum — treasure them. There is no substitute for success. Free advice is seldom cheap.
Keep your lies consistent. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
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Win or lose, there’s always Hyperian beetle snuff. Home is where the heart is Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Never let the competition know what you’re thinking. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. Females and finances don’t mix. Every man has his price. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. Sleep can interfere with profit. DS9 season 2, episode 7 – “Rules of Acquisition” Faith moves mountains There is no honour in poverty.
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. Treat people in your debt like family Never have sex with the boss’s sister. Always have sex with the boss. You can’t free a fish from water. Everything is for sale, even friendship. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. You can’t make a deal if you’re dead.
Only fools pay retail. There’s nothing wrong with charity Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
Whisper your way to success. DS9 season 7, episode 9 – “Covenant” Know your enemies Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Hear all, trust nothing. Never cheat a Klingon It’s always good business to know about new customers before they walk in the door. The justification for profit is profit. New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite eules. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Employees are rungs on the ladder of success.
Don’t hesitate to step on them. Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach. Always know what you’re buying.
Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox. Latinum lasts longer than lust. You can’t buy fate.
Never be afraid to mislabel a product. A wife is a luxury A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
When in doubt, lie. Deep down everyone’s a Ferengi. No good deed acquistion goes unpunished. Rules Without a Known Number Exploitation begins at home.